Final Critique

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The audio in the moving in with Daamun is all over the place, same with the audio near the end

The credits are too fast

Too much time spent on the issues relating to moving

don’t have daamun talk about the struggles of living with him, let the animation tell that story

don’t need as much on the boxes


Make a void for dramatic tense, don’t list off what happened, break things into sections like chapters


Make the b-roll match better


In-Group Notes

Cut the part about the biggest fear, it doesn’t mesh
cut the intro part to “saying goodbye to family” part

Pause before moving to cali and move the bird here for better b-roll match (bird flight = flight across the country)

Less Daamun talking

Color Correct

Touch on the highlights more, don’t elaborate too much on the nitty gritty details


B-Roll Ideas for Kyle things to match:

“I just wasted all these years of my life”

“Hardest thing you’ve ever done, never done visual art before”


Parents reaction music

Music at start of money

transition into goodbye music

talking during dog part, iffy cut – levels near the end


Music during motion graphics

voice too quiet during friends part