Turfing: The Turfer Girl Story
No Label Entertainment
All ages, East Bay people, people interested by dance
OBJECTIVE OF FILM
Inform audience about Turfer Girl and the Turfing Scene. Make them think about the nature of competition.
Music by Turfer Girl & film crew.
TREATMENT (1 to 3 pages, single spaced)
A treatment is a short narrative written in simple, non-technical language (i.e., no camera angles, transitions, etc.) Your goal is to evoke how your audience will experience the film on screen.
The treatment is your way of working out a film story—not necessarily the final film story, but a good working model—on paper, so that even if nothing wonderful and unexpected happens on location to make your film a thousand times better, you’ll at least end up with a film that works. Whereas the LMW SHORT DOC OUTLINE handout describes a working structure of your film, the treatment is your film, on paper anyway—or to be more accurate, it is the film as you expect it to be, based on what you know now.
In the treatment section you should:
Tell the reader what they will hear and see on screen.
Describe the story and introduce any characters.
Write in active-voice present tense.
Write colorfully, so the reader visualizes what’s in your mind’s eye, but avoid splashy adjectives and hyperbole. That is, do not write: “This spellbinding story will bemagically brought to life by the remarkable camera work of Jimmy James…” You have to show how the story isspellbinding and demonstrate that Mr. James’ work isremarkable by providing supporting information.
Be specific—don’t use words like may, might, possibly—your film will do this or that. List any other important production elements you expect to use.
Once again, you may not know the answer to all these questions—make your best guess.
You are not committed to use the things you write about—you change your mind later.
Well done rough cut. The music fits nicely, once the interviews are there and the story structure is a bit more clear it’ll be a really solid piece.
Good use of interview footage. More live footage would be awesome and showcase the band’s music a bit more. In general its a good rough cut and makes for a good final piece.
Good story and good interview footage. Could’ve used other footage aside from interviews though. Try and go more in depth into the story. Good quality rough cut.
10/10. Very good use of black and white. On point narration. Didn’t feel like a rough cut at all.
Good use of text. Audio in the beginning could use some work. Add some more footage. The music in the end fits well. Well done rough cut.
Really good use of archival footage. Good style to it. Add some more interview footage maybe. Well done rough cut.
The core concept of this film is the endeavors of Turfer Girl (Jasmine Haynes) in the competitive, little-known dance subculture of Turfing. The film is about her story, the history of Turfing, and their convergence. Interviews with dancers and footage of their practice and battles will support the core concept.
How did you get started turfing?
Can you talk about the history of turfing?
Why do you turf?
How has turfing affected your life?
Is it hard being a female?
What is your biggest accomplishment?
How do you prepare for a battle?