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Apr 28

Final Critique Notes

They like the story about Fei but we see her face too much

Put more video over would make it a little stronger

7 minute piece making it shorter.

Cutting two of her shots jump cuts cross fades.

 

Alex like the things Fei said

Highlighted why the art is important.

She gave really cool history.

 

Elliot- strong points

Drawings

Taiwanese history

Not a final cut is more of a rough cut.

Story Arc with her personal history

Oakland Here now occupy movement.

Brings it into our world

Connecting things together.

Interview footage problematic looking to the left

So show very little.

What is she looking.

Look space- the interview is good and solid and show her less

The sequence of the drawing was really well consider.

The very faint sound of the sword was good enhance it

Help draw the audience in.

 

 

Dave- Rally is a very different presentation we last saw.

Overall it’s a bit disjointed. Sequencing of events. A lot of good of interview but not sequence properslY.

 

I would paper interview, Fei, Scnsei. Name each segment in your story

And then sequence it and then when you look at the big picture.

B roll was really good- dojo sword play cutting

Some of felt a little flat and lasted for a little long.

The animations added a demantion. The animation about her the facial expression

Didn’t go with the animation… Audio—

We talk about the interview dialogue

Put in some more musical sound in key places that could add a dementioality to add to the story.

 

 

Jerry- The idea of the drawings is working… She said something right upfront violence survivor drop a bomb in the dojo. Art of forgiveness reframing trauma. The historical stuff work on the drawing a little more effort and time in pace for Ryans Animation.

Beginning of the body the animation of Taiwan.

It has to be a clear story just say enough to get that across

We are still confuse what we intended it to be

Interesting woman talking not connected interesting feel that’s true

Add it more then to its sum of its parts.

Immediately more cutting undermines the power of that. The sequence diminishes the power. Where’s the footage in the park!!

Tatami footage was nice we see evidence good impulse.

Drawings big thumbs up

Interview is too yellow/ dojo is too dark

Color correction

Dialogue- cut out some of her coming in and out.

Concept- Story is reverse the good stuff is happening in the end.

Violence survivor was good and add more from the end.