They like the story about Fei but we see her face too much
Put more video over would make it a little stronger
7 minute piece making it shorter.
Cutting two of her shots jump cuts cross fades.
Alex like the things Fei said
Highlighted why the art is important.
She gave really cool history.
Elliot- strong points
Drawings
Taiwanese history
Not a final cut is more of a rough cut.
Story Arc with her personal history
Oakland Here now occupy movement.
Brings it into our world
Connecting things together.
Interview footage problematic looking to the left
So show very little.
What is she looking.
Look space- the interview is good and solid and show her less
The sequence of the drawing was really well consider.
The very faint sound of the sword was good enhance it
Help draw the audience in.
Dave- Rally is a very different presentation we last saw.
Overall it’s a bit disjointed. Sequencing of events. A lot of good of interview but not sequence properslY.
I would paper interview, Fei, Scnsei. Name each segment in your story
And then sequence it and then when you look at the big picture.
B roll was really good- dojo sword play cutting
Some of felt a little flat and lasted for a little long.
The animations added a demantion. The animation about her the facial expression
Didn’t go with the animation… Audio—
We talk about the interview dialogue
Put in some more musical sound in key places that could add a dementioality to add to the story.
Jerry- The idea of the drawings is working… She said something right upfront violence survivor drop a bomb in the dojo. Art of forgiveness reframing trauma. The historical stuff work on the drawing a little more effort and time in pace for Ryans Animation.
Beginning of the body the animation of Taiwan.
It has to be a clear story just say enough to get that across
We are still confuse what we intended it to be
Interesting woman talking not connected interesting feel that’s true
Add it more then to its sum of its parts.
Immediately more cutting undermines the power of that. The sequence diminishes the power. Where’s the footage in the park!!
Tatami footage was nice we see evidence good impulse.
Drawings big thumbs up
Interview is too yellow/ dojo is too dark
Color correction
Dialogue- cut out some of her coming in and out.
Concept- Story is reverse the good stuff is happening in the end.
Violence survivor was good and add more from the end.
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