• Diana Kahler wrote a new post, Final Critique Notes, on the site 7 years ago

    They like the story about Fei but we see her face too much

    Put more video over would make it a little stronger

    7 minute piece making it shorter.

    Cutting two of her shots jump cuts cross fades.


    Alex like the things Fei said

    Highlighted why the art is important.

    She gave really cool history.


    Elliot- strong points


    Taiwanese history

    Not a final cut is more of a rough cut.

    Story Arc with her personal history

    Oakland Here now occupy movement.

    Brings it into our world

    Connecting things together.

    Interview footage problematic looking to the left

    So show very little.

    What is she looking.

    Look space- the interview is good and solid and show her less

    The sequence of the drawing was really well consider.

    The very faint sound of the sword was good enhance it

    Help draw the audience in.



    Dave- Rally is a very different presentation we last saw.

    Overall it’s a bit disjointed. Sequencing of events. A lot of good of interview but not sequence properslY.


    I would paper interview, Fei, Scnsei. Name each segment in your story

    And then sequence it and then when you look at the big picture.

    B roll was really good- dojo sword play cutting

    Some of felt a little flat and lasted for a little long.

    The animations added a demantion. The animation about her the facial expression

    Didn’t go with the animation… Audio—

    We talk about the interview dialogue

    Put in some more musical sound in key places that could add a dementioality to add to the story.



    Jerry- The idea of the drawings is working… She said something right upfront violence survivor drop a bomb in the dojo. Art of forgiveness reframing trauma. The historical stuff work on the drawing a little more effort and time in pace for Ryans Animation.

    Beginning of the body the animation of Taiwan.

    It has to be a clear story just say enough to get that across

    We are still confuse what we intended it to be

    Interesting woman talking not connected interesting feel that’s true

    Add it more then to its sum of its parts.

    Immediately more cutting undermines the power of that. The sequence diminishes the power. Where’s the footage in the park!!

    Tatami footage was nice we see evidence good impulse.

    Drawings big thumbs up

    Interview is too yellow/ dojo is too dark

    Color correction

    Dialogue- cut out some of her coming in and out.

    Concept- Story is reverse the good stuff is happening in the end.

    Violence survivor was good and add more from the end.

  • Footage was good

    There was no space between some of your interview

    2 second of transition between people

    Still photos letter boxes on the side

    Good use of external footage tom cruise […]

  • Diana Kahler changed their profile picture 7 years, 3 months ago

  • Great Photoshop pictures Ryan!

  • Diana Kahler changed their profile picture 7 years, 4 months ago

  • Very nice page. I like the colors and creativity.