Aug 052011

Never sign up for eHarmony! Never! I completely regret going through with this bogus experiement. First of all they make you take a survey that has over thirty different sections, each section consisting of about twenty some questions. So hours later when your just so sick of answering stupid questions you finally complete the beginning half of becoming a part of eHarmony. Little did I know before I signed on for this little experiment that I could see that I had matches, but I couldn't view their pictures or message them without paying just about fifty dollars a month. So I was stuck looking at their shallow profiles with no pictures. I then glanced over my matches, supposedly these people were meant for me, my perfect match according to how I filled out the survey. The first man on my list had put under hobbies, "I like money." Wow. This was a winner. I went on to read that apparently I am only compatable with heavy smokers, ten years my senior, with children and a serious lack of intelligent things to say. I consider myself to be intelligent, and have a lot to say. I feel as if I filled the survey out accordingly, so apparently these are the types of men that I'm meant to be with. It gets worse. After finding out I had to pay the fifty dollars I did not return to eHarmony, however every single day since then I have recieved at least ten emails with suggestions on how to talk to a man, icebreakers. Do not sign up for this site! I can't go any further with the experiment because I refuse to pay fifty dollars a month to simply see pictures and message. I can't believe the people that I am matched up with, and now I have more junk mail than I know what to do with.

Jul 272011

When researching eHarmony, my first conquest of the online dating world and first aspect I am approaching for digital dating, I decided to sign up, see what kind of process I would be sent through. I was given pages and pages of so-called "personal" questions that would decipher just what kind of person I am. It felt oddly like filling out an online application for a job. As I was going through these questions I couldn't help but ponder on the absolute obsurdity of some of them. Questions that are so simple, can so easliy be falcified, and seem almost as to have a predetermined answer, hardly seem like the life questions I would want to ask a love canidate across the dinner table. A question such as number two on this list: "My partner's energy level?" Who would honestly answer that they want their possible partner to be a lazy couch potato? Then it goes to ask about how dependable you'd like your partner to be. Honestly, let's think about that one. Who in their right mind would say that they didn't care if their partner was dependable, like yes please set me up with a lazy couch potato flake who's never there when you need them. I really started to chew the idea of this capadability without contact idea over in my mouth, and the taste was off. How can a room full of "scientists" determine who I'm going to love based on a long list of questions that seem so simple that their hardly relevant? How can people I've never met, who don't know me, really know me, not just a laundry list of normal to sub-normal characteristics, really know who I'm going to love? I had always thought that love was something in the gut, something you felt deep inside when your with someone, something that told you that this might be different. Maybe I'm a sucker for the oldschool idea of butterflies in your stomach, and I have thought long and hard as to proximity to someone creating love if it is sustained, but there is something so very impersonal about this personal querey. I can't that these generic questions can determine whether or not the person on the other end of the computer likes Family Guy, or Animes, or goes a little crazy without warning. I can't imagine that they could determine that I love the way a man looks when he's not trying at all, or the feeling of sleeping in with someone. They can ask me how important education and religion are but I value men who are interested in the same kind of work I am, that I can share my crazy ideas with, that might share my warped sense of creativity. These things are personal to me, that are not included in this quesionaire, that someone wouldn't know about me unless we talked. Someone could argue that communication via the internet might close up some of the cyber gaps and make things more personal, but then how do they know the physical things about me that might sway a person to either fall in love or not? When taking a psychology class on marriage and relationships I read a true story about a couple who had been married for over fifty years and they can still describe what it was that made them fall in love. The woman had expressed that it was his smell. That as soon as she was in close proximity to her future husband, she knew, merely from the smell of him. I can't lie that I have been attracted to certain men in my life and that even an article of closing with a lingering smell would not just flare my nostrils but ignite an emotional and physical reaction inside of me. So how do these thermones get triggered when all you have to go off of is words on a screen, a stoic snap-shot, a voice on the other end of the phone, a person talking over a camera with miles between you. It's these small things that I think create a love connection, so how can these people behind the scenes really find the man of my dreams, when their questionaire doesn't really even get into the deep aspects of who I truly am, only the shallow, vavid responses of a person who has an idealogy already made up in their head? Give it a glance. Take a look at what supposedly defines us as individuals in one of the most prominant aspects of our life, love. What do you think? Could you be defined by these questions?

1.My partner's personal values

2.My partner's energy level

3.Enjoying the way I feel around my partner

4.My partner's dependability

5.My partner's sex appeal

6.My partner's love of children

7.My partner's beliefs

8.My partner's fun-loving nature

9.My partner's physical appearance

10.The chemistry between me and my partner

11.The similarities between me and my partner

12.The romantic attraction I feel for my partner

13.My partner's personality

14.My partner's kindness

15.Our sexual compatibility

16.My partner's ability to communicate

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