Final Critiques

  • Music is repetative.  Needs to build tension and as it stands it works in parts but not throughout.
  • Color correction is needed throughout.
  • “It got a bit slow” with Walter and could use more b-roll and a photo or two of boys from the 50s (to accent when he’s talking about his brother.)
  • There needs to be more VO.
  • Explain what an O gauge is and put in more train footage throughout the entire documentary.
  • Cut out as many “ums” and “ahs” as possible, especially during Jacob’s interview.
  • Maybe set up Jacob’s interview to the end.  Put a bit of dialogue at the end of intro reinforcing that the club is dying then immediately follow with Jacob.
  • Logo needs sound effects.
  • Title needs a fancier font.
  • B-roll inserts could be longer.  Right now the entire piece feels rushed.