Rough Cut Critique,


The Alfista

  • • need more B-Roll over the interview footage, **for cutaways and shot changes, especially**
    —> will help put more emphasis
    • Story Development? pin-point on ONE aspect and build on that! build a story,
    • — “have people work on their own cars”
    • SHORTEN THE TALKING, cut more effectively
    ⁃ —> “Glenn is introduced @ 4:55 min mark of the documentary… way too long”
    –> introduce the main character, EARLIER and MORE EFFECTIVELY.
    • jump cuts of interview —> edit better? jump to other people, allow for a smoother transition between the talking,
    ⁃ —> comes through as VERY manipulative
    • more (but minimal) footage of the “history,”
    ⁃ —> find pictures, footage, vintage shots of, Glenn, his shop, Alfa’s racing,
    • build on community, and story, using B-Roll
  • IMPORTANT: SHOW THE STORY, build around a story, use B-roll, interview footage, audio, VOICE OVERS, to SUPPORT the STORY

Intro and Conclusion Ideas

Intro:  As of now, we see the intro starting with a VO on a black screen bringing the audience in.  It will cut to shots of racing, and working on cars.  VO supports why people love Alfas, why they love working on cars. “The joy of machine/ working and fixing something that you feel and experience” Why do people race, why do people drive? We will hopefully record people talking about racing and driving itself and the community around it (Alfas if applicable).

The Conclusion will wrap back into Glenn’s shop, and how he has built this community of friends as well as bringing many people together and sharing a deep passion for these classic autos.  He followed his passion and paved his own path. and in doing that he has helped others find and cherish their passions as well.  If it weren’t for Glenn, these cars would be far less accessible. He has, in a sense, kept these cars alive in the bay area, and because of a select few like Glenn these cars can be driven and experienced by many.