Rough Cut Feedback

After having the rough cut of our documentary viewed we received quite a mouthful of critique. One major issue we will fix is the confusion of figuring out which woman is Alison and which woman is Erin. Another suggestion that arose was to incorporate homeroom and the mac and cheese just a little bit more in order to show what made Erin and Alison so successful. When introducing our documentary we were given the suggestion to create an atmosphere first and then delve into the story of Alison and Erin. We have a lot to fix but overall we were told that the rough cut was well structured. We look forward to using this critique and creating an outstanding documentary.

Story Elements

Narrative Spine: Driving our film forward is the compelling story of Alison and Erin and their passion and hard work that got them to where they are today.

Main Characters: Alison and Erin are the main characters and the focus of this film. We already have plenty of typical interview footage and in order to spice this up we are going to get separate footage of them being theirselves without realizing they are being filmed. This way we can see them without the pressure of being on camera.

Conflict: The main conflict in Alison and Erin’s story is the risk of quitting their jobs and pushing past family expectations in order to follow their passion.

Change: The change we are looking to unfold in this documentary is the difference in Alison and Erin’s quality of life going from a typical boring job to living out their passion every day.

Inciting Incident: The inciting incident/ point of entry for our film will be how Alison and Erin met by complete chance at a small cafe.

Issues: The only issue we will come across when trying to make our film visually strong is getting interesting footage of Erin and Alison. We look forward to figuring out creative ways to portray them in the best way possible.