Final Critique Notes

Here are the notes we received from our final critique:

  • – People could relate more to the added stories and situations of being bullied in the army
  • Missing the impact of the original ending quote from our rough cut
  • Good visuals that helped move the story along; that being said, they would like to see more personal photos and less stock footage
  • Themes that were present were Strength and a symbol of freedom
  • A possible change in the ending was to make it more inspirational, like “rising up from the ashes”
  • Break up long scenes of dialogue with photos or other media clips
  • work on pacing, let the film and moments breathe
  • have music play a more emotional aspect; almost another character to the film

Rough Cut Notes

– There’s a better sense of a story with a deeper sense of character. But the story is not a complete one. Need more from beginning to end. But the subject is appealing and honest

– green screen background threw people off and was distracting

– there’s the makings of a good story here; has good basics; and killer quotes — quote at the end really knocked the message home

– needs some attention to composition details

– news footage + interviews really help show the conflict, the character, and the change

– More of a personal connection with our subject; more photos while in service; photos of family; before and after photos. More supportive evidence