Final Critique Notes

Here are the notes we received from our final critique:

  • – People could relate more to the added stories and situations of being bullied in the army
  • Missing the impact of the original ending quote from our rough cut
  • Good visuals that helped move the story along; that being said, they would like to see more personal photos and less stock footage
  • Themes that were present were Strength and a symbol of freedom
  • A possible change in the ending was to make it more inspirational, like “rising up from the ashes”
  • Break up long scenes of dialogue with photos or other media clips
  • work on pacing, let the film and moments breathe
  • have music play a more emotional aspect; almost another character to the film

Rough Cut Notes

– There’s a better sense of a story with a deeper sense of character. But the story is not a complete one. Need more from beginning to end. But the subject is appealing and honest

– green screen background threw people off and was distracting

– there’s the makings of a good story here; has good basics; and killer quotes — quote at the end really knocked the message home

– needs some attention to composition details

– news footage + interviews really help show the conflict, the character, and the change

– More of a personal connection with our subject; more photos while in service; photos of family; before and after photos. More supportive evidence

intro and conclusion

The introduction for TranSoldiers will open with the Trans Alliance logo crossfading to show stills and/or video of transgender individuals in the military, illustrating the topic on a global level. Leading into the interview with Lexi, starting with questions about her upbringing and family life

The conclusion will summarize in voice some of the key points that Lexi described. Fading out on her answer to the question “In what ways could people watching this do to support?”

interview questions

what are your preferred pronouns?

At what age did you realize you were transgender?

What branch did you serve with in the military, for how long, and what was your job, are you still enlisted?

Did being transgender influence your decision to enlist in the service?

What was your reason for enlisting?

How did you handle being transgender in the military?

How were you treated by fellow service members?

Did being transgender have anything to do with your departure from the service?

How difficult has it been to find a job as a trans person?
(if veteran) Would you serve again given the opportunity?

how do you feel about the military’s ban on trans individuals from serving?

Did being trans effect your ability to perform your military duties? If so how?

Did others in the service know you were transgender?

People out there in America who have no idea what being transgender means what do they need to understand?

Where is America when it comes to the acceptance of trans people?

What is your thought on California passing the school success and opportunity act allowing transgender youth the ability to fully participate in schools across the state.

Canada and Britain allow for transgender troops , when do you think the US will? What’s stopping them?

What was the toll of suppressing and hiding who you were truly throughout the years?

What did the military offer you?

Was it hard to be kind of living that double life in the military?

Are you doing anything actively in the trans community to help change the ruling in the military?

In what ways could people watching this do to support?

When did you tell your family? Were they supportive?

Our approach

Our approach moving forward from LWM is to really be direct with our message. Our message being that transgender people are allowed to serve but they can’t be open about it, forcing people to hide who they truly are. We plan on interviewing one or two people and getting really personal with them, with voiceovers providing facts and direction with the issue that is still vastly overlooked during a time period of a big LGBT movement. We plan to make this piece informative yet showing the personal sensitivity of the subject with our interviewees.